List of things I could be doing now but I'm not.

1) Putting away the three loads of clean laundry that I have allowed to accumulate on my floor. Most of it is probably covered in black hair from the cat nesting in it while I'm gone to work or wherever.

2) Playing with/petting the cat. I think she's angry with me.

3) Putting away my clean dishes.

4) Washing the dirty ones.

5) Pooping.

6) Going to Barnes and Noble and getting a hot spiced chai and finding a random book to read in the cafe while I drink it.

7) Practicing. I'm pretty much all good on our music for the next H.W.S. concert except for one particularly nasty passage in "American Overature" that is just filled with rotten accidentals. Damn you, sharps!!!

8) Sewing up the split in the crotch of my work pants. This will *have* to be done some time today, as at 9:30 tonight I leave home to go work for 17 hours straight...and then come back 8 hours later to work another 7 hours...it's a grand life, I tell ya. Hopefully, between tonight being one of the biggest bar nights of the year and tomorrow being Thanksgiving, since I'm waitressing I just might make some fat cash/pity tips. Here's hoping I come home with at least $200!!

9) Reading. I'm fresh out of new, interesting books. There are several books that I wish were either out in paperback or just out period, members of the former category including "Phantom" by Terry Goodkind and the last installment of The Obsidian Trilogy by Mallory/Lackey (the title of which I'm not certain), and the latter category being "A Dance with Dragons", the next installment of A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. Kyle and Fritz totally turned me into a fantasy literature nerd.

10) Hanging out with friends. Anywhere.

Okay, okay, okay. I know! I do. I know I don't blog on here as often as...one person would want me to...but I blog a lot more on MySpace and you can get there now, my friend =P

In other news...I've had the time to develop some half-formed philosophies...all of which seem to escape me at this time. Oh wait...there's one that was inspired by me running into a couple of people I went to high school with at the Fourth of July festival a couple years ago...you want to talk about podunk white-trash? They had more kids between them than they did teeth! Why is it that stupid ones procreate?! And that, to an excess! How the hell are you going to support those kids when you work at Wal-Mart and she doesn't do a damn thing but sit home and watch Nascar while all those kids tear the trailer apart and live in squallor?! Dang! So, my philosophy: Even if you feel like you're drowning in lonliness, don't clutch onto the first piece of driftwood that comes your way. Have some self-esteem, for the love of al that is good and holy!

I found this today and have been posting it on a lot of my friends pages since...

Is that not HILARIOUS!!! Hehehe...actually, setting this picture aside, I would totally do Jeff Goldblum. I think I have a major "thing" for dorks/nerds/geeks...well, maybe not so much geeks. Geeks without the pimples or the B.O., maybe.

So during this lapse in time between my posts, I've been subtly dicked over by two more guys...no relationships that I took seriously, to be sure, but that had rather abrupt endings that are very bewildering and leave me wondering, you know...what the hell is wrong with me. So at this point, f*ck it. I'm not looking for sh*t. I've done really well about developing my sense of self and knowing what I'm worth and what I have to offer, and you know what? I am waiting to make some man very lucky some day...and I'll be around, but they have to find me. So there. I'll just have to deal with being lonely/frustrated.

In other news...I have a cat. A this point the novelty has worn off and she's kind of showing herself to be quite a nuisance...I come home to find my garbage tipped over every once in a while...and one particular occurance kind of makes me giggle...I came home one day and the cat didn't run right up to me, as per her usual behavior, so I explore my tiny apartment (which takes all of 3.48 seconds) and find her trapped in my stand-up shower. Now...the walls to this thing are about 7-8 feet high...and the clearance between the top of the shower and the ceiling is about 10 inches...and some how she managed to jump over the top of it and get stuck in there for who knows how long. Currently she is racing and rampaging spazmodically around my living room with my red G-string in her jaws. Maybe I should put my laundry away. Something that does amuse me is that she loves to play tug-o-war with the ribbon I tied on to one of my old drumsticks as a toy for her.

And for you, my friend, if I were to say anything else about my Jalepeno Kruncher esperience, it would be totally over that thin gossamar line...so, adverse to my normal nature, I, with good grace, will decline to say anything about how my asshole was so raw after spending those 45 minutes on the toilet that it felt like I had ripped another one open just so that I could feel twice the amount of pain. That just wouldn't be my style. :-D

Ahh. Randomness.

It's nice to take a break from MySpace and brain vomit over here instead, where hardly anybody reads so it's a bit easier to be completely honest.

Doing much, much better about Fritz. In fact, I haven't cried in over a week (.-;; We had an exchange of rather long e-mails that helped me develop some closure. So yay for me.

Now for random theories of the universe...er somethin' like that...

Have you ever had a pimple on the INSIDE of your nose? Like, a real zit, just hanging out inside your nostril where there's no possibility whatsoever of you're being able to get rid of it? It hurts! I can hardly stand to blow my nose (which is kind of important, this time of year. Damn allergies).

Currently eating peanut butter and honey sandwhiches. Good shit. I even have the raspberry flavored honey. Mmm...raspberries...give me anything with raspberries in it or that taste like raspberries and I'll eat it right up. Yummy.

My truck broke down on me last Sunday morning. Just gave a *pop!*, stalled out, and wouldn't start back up. Thankfully my mom bought me a AAA membership when I moved back down here, so I got it towed for free and then when I got the repairs done (apparently the ignition coil went bad...so I told them to do a tune up, change the spark plug wires, distributor cap & rotor, and give that b*tch an oil change, too) I got 10% off the cost of my repairs...which is a good thing...because, even with the discount, I ended up paying FIVE HUNDRED FORTY DOLLARS to get my truck back!!! $540!!!!! Dang! Labor cost almost TWICE as much as parts alone, and then there's the $90 diagnostic tests to see why the hell it wouldn't start...$99 dollars for a set of spark plug wires. $99!!! And what burns my butt is if I had a garage and some of the right tools I could do almost all of this shit myself. On the plus side, Kyle took me to pick it up when it was done, then we went out to lunch (unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden...yum...), then we went to the mall...where I decided to celebrate the return of my truck with a couple new bumper stickers. I found some fularious ones--get this. They're 8 inch long BAND-AIDS!!! Hehehe...so now my P.O.S-10 is sporting some automobile-sized band-aids...one's over a rust patch, the other one I put on the side of the hood over my wheel so it's really easy to see. That amused the hell out of me. I also treated myself to $35 dollars worth of my favorite smelly stuff from Bath & Body Works (white tea and ginger) because they're discontinuing it so I had to stock up. Then I got a massage from my buddy's buddy Alan who has a place in downtown East Lansing. Alan's cool...worked out the knot in my shoulder pretty well...then Alan and I went to Grand Rapids to take our mutual friend Tad out to dinner for his birthday. Needless to say...I won't be able to spend any money on anything but bills, gas, groceries, and smokes for the next 2 years or so. Thankfully I work in a restaurant so I'm guranteed to be able to eat at least once for five days out of the week.

Which brings me to another subject--Alan's and mine friend, Tad--the one we took out to dinner. Tad and I dated for seven months when we both went to MCC...my parents weren't real thrilled about that, seeing as how he graduated high school the year I was born, but whatever. Let us just say that our relationship was not a very constructive one, at least on my end. Tad has a lot of emotional issues and I just kept trying to pour positive energy into him and his life and it left me exhausted because I got none of it back. After we broke up, we've managed to stay friends, and we're very close now, a hell of a lot closer than when we were together. We can talk to each other about anything and everything. I like it that way. But it seems that Tad is interested in getting back together, seeing as how we both became single again at about the same time. All I have to say is...I'm sorry, but that ship has sailed. It'd be nice to have the great sex, but the point remains that I have moved on from wanting anything resembling a relationship with him again.

I have acquired two new roommates...Rupert 2 and Rupert 3. Rupert 1 unceremoniously got himself stuck in a spiderweb below my front window. The Ruperts are very friendly houseflies who buzzed in when I had my door open to enjoy some fresh air last week. Now, as far as I know, the average housefly only lives a matter of days...but these guys must be feasting on my cigarette butts or something, because they've been hanging out here quite awhile. They're very friendly, they like to explore my exposed skin as I'm sleeping (or trying to sleep), they don't eat much, and they provide some distraction (sometimes rather irritated distraction) from the doldrums of having nothing else to do but stay home. If they stick around a couple more days though, I'm going to be forced to ask the Ruperts to start coughing up some rent money.

So that's my story, tah-dah.

Hey all. How you doin'? Chances are that, if you're here, you know me already, but if not, hey! That's cool too!

I like this picture because it shows my favorite tattoos. Why my buddy Fritz had to take it while I was scratching a dog's ass, I don't know, but whatever.

Speaking of Fritz...yeah I'm still pretty depressed about the whole breaking off of our quasi-relationship thing...but again, whatever...he's gotta do what he's gotta do.

In other news...had rehearsal tonight. It was good times. I'm digging the stuff we're playing in the Hillsdale Wind Symphony for this next concert...however, the fact that Chris (on the left in this picture) is in Ethiopia (I miss you, brown shuga!) and Fritz (on the right) is busy with his school band on Tuesday nights kinda puts a damper on it. A further disappointment is that Kristen has a class early Wednesday nights so she and Dennis won't be coming to Cavoni's after rehearsal anymore.

I feel like I've lost so many of my best friends in such a short time...can't talk to Chris anymore, can't talk to Fritz (since the situation with him is the main thing I need to talk about), won't be seeing Kristen and Dennis at all except for during rehearsals (and that's not exactly recreational time). I dunno...but Kyle, Janna and I had a pretty good time tonight, just the three of us. I know I'm loved, I know I have friends...and I'm really, really trying to not be such an emo drama-queen about this whole thing but it's hard.